Nation’s Moms Make Plans For ‘A Little Shelley Time For Once’

Pictured: Shelley Spillman, 42, taking a moment for herself.
Pictured: Shelley Spillman, 42, taking a moment for herself.

Following a busy summer and moving their children into college this past weekend, the nation’s moms have announced plans to take “a little Shelley time for once.”

The announcement comes in the middle of Thursday afternoon and, according to experts, happens every couple months or so. Moms across the country were seen abandoning dirty dishes and getting back from long drives before retiring to their bedrooms and “give the Ole’ Shell a little time off her feet.”

“I cook, I clean, I make sure all the laundry’s done. I’d say I deserve a little white wine and some time in the bathtub.” commented Shelley Spillman, Scranton mother of three. “No one ever asks Shelley how she’s doing so every once in awhile I have to do that for myself,” she later added.

Moms across the country have announced similar plans for a nap, a few episodes of The Wendy Williams Show, or a “long over-due hour just for me.” Scores of mothers have also reportedly requested that “everyone just leave me alone for the rest of the afternoon, pretend like I’m just not here.”

Despite re-organizing the living room to be more relaxing just last week, the nation’s moms are “feeling a little under-appreciated,” and see that, “maybe it’s time Shelley gets a little pampering.” Shelley Ross, a Houston mom had announced that she will not be driving anyone to school tomorrow and “that they can figure it out for themselves,” while she gets her nails done for the first time in months.

“No one bother Mommy,” commented area father Fred Spillman at press time.

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