After a series of what she describes as, “suspicious acts,” area sophomore Kelly Harris expressed concern that her Physics 240 tutor was secretly seeing other girls that were “possibly even less competent,” than she is.
“I first started to get worried when he stopped replying to my texts,” explained Harris. “Maybe I’m being paranoid but what if he’s too busy solving dumber questions that other girls sent him?” Until recently, Harris had been confident that she was by far the dumbest girl the senior tutored.
According to Harris, the lack of response hasn’t been the only red flag in the relationship. “As soon as we’re done with the problem sets he just gets up and leaves like he has somewhere to be,” said Harris. “I know he’s not under any obligation to stay, but it would be decent for him to at least talk a little afterwards.”
Harris added that although they never “technically defined the relationship as exclusive,” she still felt there was a special connection between the two.
“I mean, we’ve seen each other literally every week for over a month now,” said Harris. “Excuse me for thinking that meant something.”
“Maybe I was just being too naïve” Harris later added. “I guess I’m not the only girl out there who can’t calculate the voltage of an RC circuit.”
Although she pays upwards of $80 per session, Harris was still reportedly only barely passing Physics 240. At press time, Harris was considering flunking out of Calc III to prove to her tutor that she’s, “hands down the dumbest girl he’s going to find.”