After a year of political turmoil, Harry Potter political metaphors across the nation are reportedly buckling down for some heavy lifting.
“Comparing the republican party to Death Eaters just isn’t cutting it anymore,” said self- declared Potter super-fan Jamie Oldrich. “We need stronger metaphors to express the gravity of this political moment, or else we’re just contributing to the silence. That’s why I’m writing fan fiction where Sarah Huckabee Sanders is Professor Umbridge.”
The nation’s bookworms, all of whom share a guilty pleasure for the Potter series, have teamed together in chat rooms and forums across the internet to improve their literary metaphors and calls to “protect the Deathly Hallows,” an allegory for the American democracy.
“Communism worked at Hogwarts,” said Natalie Strong, who described herself as a Ravenclaw. “Sure, they had magic to help out, but theoretically if it worked there, with all the students sharing roles and responsibilities, couldn’t it work in the America?”
While all “Potterheads” agree Harry Potter metaphors are an increasingly useful tool in Trump’s America, it’s disputed what the tales of the series are meant to be allegories for.
“Hogwarts is not a representation of the potential of communism,” said literary critic and Naomi Addams. “The school is a model of how the totalitarian leadership of a meritocracy prevents the common man from pursuing happiness, or else why would Harry’s gang have so many run ins with Professor Snape?”
According to blogger Adam Strong, there appears to be no demonstrable limit to the extent of political turmoil that Potter metaphors can describe.
“I personally think comparing the gross injustices in the American criminal justice system, which some argue is a contemporary form of slavery, to the strife of the prisoners captive in Azkaban wizard jail makes contentious political issues far more accessible and understandable to the common muggle,” said Adam.
When asked for comment, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling reportedly hinted at an eighth book in the form of a graphic novel.