House Less Fun Now That Becca And Dave Are Legit Thing

Green and Sherman enjoy some “snuggle time” on the communal couch.
Green and Sherman enjoy some “snuggle time” on the communal couch.

922 Oakland has become “super lame” now that Becca Green and Dave Sherman are a “legit thing,” according to a group text between all 922 Oakland housemates except for Green.

According to texts in the group message, Green used to “always be down to go out” and “rally the crew” before entering the relationship.

Housemate Sara Meiser mourned the loss of the “lit pregames” the Oakland house used to throw in the hopes of Sherman attending.

“Even when Becca and Dave were kind of an item and not totally in an official relationship, Becca was still a blast to be around. But then Dave got over being a total dick about commitment and now we come back at 1 a.m. and they’re curled up on the couch cuddling.”

“Honestly, I’m kind of hoping that Becca and Dave don’t last that long,” admitted housemate Amanda Blocker. “Sure, Becca will be pretty devastated. But could you imagine how much she’d want to party and go out then?”

A third housemate, Talia Dawson agreed, saying, “Becca was so fun when she wanted to make Dave jealous. Even though there’s one more person living here, it feels like we’ve lost a roommate. After all, what are friends for if they won’t drop all personal obligations to binge drink and smooch random guys until all hours?”

At press time, the housemates were reportedly weighing the emotional pain of encouraging a breakup against the greater gain of the house once again becoming a place where all roommates were equally desperate.

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