It Unclear Why Times New Roman Not Microsoft Word’s Default Font Anymore

It remains unclear exactly how the font fell out of favor at Microsoft.
It remains unclear exactly how the font fell out of favor at Microsoft.

Expressing their frustration with the application that had been mandatory since “basically kindergarten,” University of Michigan students recently declared their dissatisfaction with Microso Word’s choice of “Calibri” over “Times New Roman” as its automatic font.

“I have literally never written a paper for which Times New Roman was not required or, at the very least, accepted,” said LSA junior Matt Regan. “Also, default size 11? Instead of fucking 12? What idiots at Microsoft are managing this product?”

Though Microsoft has released statements conveying their belief that Calibri is “more modern,” rumors have begun circulating that the tech giant simply wants to make life more difficult for its users.

Despite an outpouring of complaints, Michigan students concede they feel “powerless” to incite any sort of meaningful protest against Word’s font choices. Many predicted that the computer application would continue to waste their time for years to come.

“As if anyone’s going to switch to Pages,” said Nursing freshman Julia Swinger. “Most assignments still need to be submitted in .doc form, so I’ll just keep on wasting a few seconds at a time, multiple times a day, switching to Times. 12 pt.”

At press time, Microsoft released a new version of Word featuring the movement of all convenient features two different drop-down menus.

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