Freshman Hoping To Attend Stephen M. Ross’ Tax Write Off

The Ross School of Business, where thousands of future businessmen learn how they too can one day exploit tax loopholes.
The Ross School of Business, where thousands of future businessmen learn how they too can one day exploit tax loopholes.

Citing a desire for an elite business education and access to the large alumni network, University of Michigan freshman and aspiring entrepreneur Jessie Harmon was reportedly hoping to attend Stephen M. Ross’ tax write-of.

Stephen M. Ross, real estate tycoon and owner of the Miami Dolphins football team, has made sizable donations to establish the eponymous Ross School of Business, all with the hopes of fostering entrepreneurial innovation and saving millions of dollars each year in tax exemptions.

Now many students flock to the school, which has risen up the ranks of national business programs doubling as tax dens for the ultra-rich.

Harmon, who like many freshmen plans to apply to the prestigious business school next semester, stated his belief that an education under Ross’ elaborate tax evasion scheme will enable him to pursue a career on Wall Street.

The tax exemption in question, which enrolls thousands of undergraduate and graduate students seeking an education in business, should save Stephen M. up to $33 million dollars this year in taxes, with the added benefit of securing his legacy as an generous educator posthumously.

Harmon is among twenty students on the floor of his dorm who hope to one-day participate first-hand in Stephen M. Ross’ elaborate con against the IRS and United States Government.

At press time, Harmon was paying a tutor to do his Econ homework, while Stephen M. Ross was chiding uncooperative investments within the Dolphins franchise for posing a financial risk.

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