Schlissel Gets Sucker From Nurse For Being Good Boy

Schlissel didn’t get the flavor sucker he wanted, but he didn’t mind.
Schlissel didn’t get the flavor sucker he wanted, but he didn’t mind.

Following his annual flu shot this past week, University of Michigan President Mark Schlissel reportedly received a sucker for being a good boy from a nurse at UHS.

The lolly, a reward for being brave in the face of an ouchie, was a well deserved prize for the 14th President of the University of Michigan.

“I was scared to get the shot, but now I’m happy I have a sucker,” said the President. “The nurse said she would give me the shot on the count of three, but gave it to me on two and I hardly winced at all!” proudly added the good boy.

Louise Raymond, the presiding nurse, had nothing but praise to heap onto the President of the University. “President Schlissel was apprehensive at first, but he put on a brave face and he got through it, sure as salt.”

When asked for comment, President Schlissel’s mother, complimented her son’s excellent behavior. “After last year’s meltdown this is a real improvement. Marcus was rolling around on the floor screaming like a banshee and poor Nurse Raymond had to give him the shot while he wasn’t looking.” Reflecting on past experiences she said she was “proud Marcus could set a good example for the other children.”

Later addressing the student body via email, Schlissel wrote, “The soreness in your arm is temporary, but the Batman sticker on your skateboard will last forever.”

At press time, Schlissel was seen trying to trade his grape lollipop for red.

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