Student Runs Out Of Discreet Ways To Break Eye Contact During Office Hours

Williams, pictured here, desperately hoping a passing classmate will give him a chance to look away.
Williams, pictured here, desperately hoping a passing classmate will give him a chance to look away.

After a nearly 20 minute long meeting, LSA sophomore Daniel Williams announced that he had exhausted all of his methods of avoiding eye contact with his Econ 101 professor Gregory Rothman.

“At first I just kept pretending that I saw a cool bird or something out the window, but that plan was ruined when he closed the curtain because it got too bright,” stated Williams, who added that he could only look at his watch so many times without it becoming rude.

Williams stated that he also attempted, “rubbing his eyes every couple minutes,” and towards the end of the meeting resorted to, “literally just staring directly at Rothman’s forehead.”

Rothman, who holds office hours every Tuesday and Thursday, explained that he feels that maintaining eye contact is, “one of the most efficient ways to establish a genuine connection with the student.”

“I know it’s polite to look at someone in the eye when you’re talking with them,” said Williams, “but honestly I was so busy avoiding eye contact the whole time I’m not even sure what we were talking about.”

Williams, who was attending office hours for the first time ever, reported that the longest time that the two maintained eye contact was a full four minutes. “In the end, I faked a sneeze,” said Williams. “I’m pretty sure he knew it was fake though.”

After almost 20 minutes of being, “completely unable to focus,” Williams fled his Professor’s office in what Rothman described as, “somewhat of an abrupt exit.”

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