5 Times Pope Francis Told You God Said You Owed Him 30 Dollars

    1. The Time You Two Stopped For Gas On Your Cross Country Roadtrip
      Papal infallibility really came in handy when you and the Pope decided it was his turn to buy gas during your pit stop on I-80 in Pennsylvania, but you had to cover him or else deliver 5 Hail Marys in the Sunoco parking lot.
    2. The Time He Was Ordering Pizza During The Superbowl
      When the total came out to 30 dollars a head for his Super Bowl party last February, the Shepherd of Shepherds told you that you owed him, assuring you he was speaking ex-cathedra.
    3. The Time He Went All In With A Pair Of Twos During Texas Hold ‘Em
      Papa Francisco was fortunately hit with divine inspiration after he thought John was bluffing at Mark’s weekly poker game, telling you not to look at him, but at the big guy upstairs.
    4. The Time The Check Came At Olive Garden
      Il Papa leaned on the word of God pretty heavily this time at the Olive Garden last year, saying God decreed you owed him thirty dollars, leaving you to foot the bill for the Fettucine Alfredo and Citrus Glazed Salmon.
    5. Last Thursday
      Last Thursday the Successor of the Prince of Apostles pushed the limits of Petrine Supremacy when he sent you a Venmo request out of the blue to let you know that you owed him thirty bucks for “the grace of God.”

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