Citing his ambition to do the impossible, restaurateur Jeremy Kendrick has revealed his plans to bring a bar with a name even worse than “The Beaver Trap” to Ann Arbor.
The bar is set to open in the fall 2018, but the name, which Kendrick says will “both offend and confuse patrons,” is yet to be announced.
The bar is rumored to feature live entertainment once a week, a late-night menu, and a name that is “so embarrassing that you won’t even want to tell your friends where you’re going.”
When asked how he possibly thought of a name more vulgar than The Beaver Trap, Kendrick recalled first using a random name generator, but stated that “it was unable to conjure an arrangement of words that was even nearly as off-putting.”
Critics have commented that creating such a horrendous name is impossible, but Kendrick has refuted these claims. “At first, I also thought that the project was too ambitious,” he told reporters, “but once you hear the appalling, disrespectful name, you’ll be far more disgusted than anytime you’ve heard The Beaver Trap.”
In response to those questioning why he would ever want his new bar to have a name even half as terrible as The Beaver Trap, Kendrick claimed that it was actually because of The Beaver Trap’s success ever since its debut: “The food is terrible, so they must be doing something else right. It can only be the horrible, disgustingly unappealing name.”
At press time, Kendrick was seen asking his thirteen-year-old son to think of the first two words that popped into his head to use as a menu item.
