Shapiro Library Warns Students To Watch Out For Laptop Thieves, Bears

The grizzly opted for the second floor so he could talk to his friends.
The grizzly opted for the second floor so he could talk to his friends.

Responding to the comments of several concerned students, Shapiro Undergraduate Library employees have posted notices around the building warning about the dangers of laptop thieves and grizzly bears.

“The best thing students can do to protect themselves is to stay vigilant,” said librarian Brent Bailey. “Remember, it only takes a few seconds for someone to steal your laptop or for a bear to rip your face off.”

Bailey went on to say that everyone can help in preventing thefts and bear attacks.

“Inform a librarian if you see any suspicious activity,” explained Bailey. “Some thieves like to use their jacket to hide electronics that they steal, and some bears like to use their razor-sharp claws to maim anything that poses a threat to their well-being. So be on the lookout for anything like that.”

Bailey hopes the new signs will reduce the number of cases like that of LSA sophomore Mike Ritter.

“I was studying for a chemistry exam late at night when I had to use the restroom,” reported Ritter “The library was very quiet and there wasn’t anyone else around. I thought for sure that it would be fine to leave my laptop unattended for just a few minutes. So you can imagine how taken aback I was when I got back to my table and was suddenly ambushed by a grizzly bear that was hiding behind one of the book stacks.”

The library staff encourages student to register all electronics with the UM Department of Stolen Property and Mammal Control.

Ritter’s laptop was later stolen after he irresponsibly left it alone to seek medical attention.

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