Student’s House Dog Cute, Probably Indicative Of A Bigger Issue

Feden has often been seen having deep conversations with the dog.
Feden has often been seen having deep conversations with the dog.

Members of LSA Senior Max Feden’s house have announced that, while it is adorable, Feden’s recent purchase of a 10-weekold chocolate goldendoodle is probably indicative of a much bigger issue going on in his life.

The golden doodle, named Tito, was purchased last Wednesday at a farm in rural Illinois. Feden’s friend and roommate, Joe Steinem, claimed that Feden drove ten hours to pick up Tito, and that he failed to alert any of his housemates that he was doing so.

“We didn’t see Max for 24 hours, then all of a sudden he comes home and has this dog with him,” said Steinem, who had previously noticed that Feden, “did seem a bit down in the dumps lately.”

Steinem noted that the housemates were not concerned when they did not see much of Feden on Wednesday, as he had been spending a lot of time in his room after his girlfriend of two years broke up with him one week prior.

“Don’t get me wrong, the dog is cute,” said Steinman. “But the more I think about the more I’m starting to think that maybe there’s some kind of correlation between that dog and his break-up.”

Feden lives with five other boys, all of whom agree that Tito has been an adorable and welcome addition to their household. Members of the household have cited Tito’s most adorable qualities and actions as being his tendency to run down the stairs so quickly he topples over and his ability to provide Feden with “extra cuddles,” when Fenden starts crying.

Steinem was originally worried about how much classes, extracurriculars, and a social life would distract Feden from the responsibility of raising Tito, but he is surprised to find that Feden is putting an incredible amount of effort into caring for the dog.

“It snowed today and Max was, like, freaking out about finding boots for Tito so his paws wouldn’t get cold. He actually drove 30 minutes away to go to a petstore to buy them special,” said Steinem.

At press time, Feden was seen reassuring Tito that she was, “the most special girl in his life.

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