Noting his growing annoyance with his taxi passengers, New York City cab driver Seth Kadish told reporters that he was tired of being told to “step on it.”
Kadish, who has driven a cab in the city for almost three decades now, has reportedly grown weary of passengers’ immediate and urgent requests to “Drive!” or “put the pedal to the floor!”
“Some days it’s a flustered businessman late for a meeting,” said Kadish. “Other days it’s pregnant women who tell me to ‘floor it’ after realizing their water just broke. I’m not an ambulance. I’ve had it.”
“The worst is all the young men rushing to the airport to stop the love of their life from flying off and out of their lives forever,” Kadish told reporters. “For them I have to refuse payment, while telling them, ‘there’s no time, go get ‘er sport!’ It’s a company policy.”
Kadish also stated that he was tired of being told to “floor it,” and “put this puppy in drive,” by various ripped men in a tight fitting tee shirts attempting to save the city from destruction.
“I just wish they wouldn’t put these things off until the last minute,” Kadish added. “Just yesterday I got a woman in wedding dress who told me, ‘take me as far away as you can!’ Third one this week.”
At press time, a disheveled man in a trench coat got into the back of Kadish’s cab shouting “follow that car!”