Classmate Reading Book Like A Fucking Prick

"I mean he’s probably a really nice guy, but c’mon, just mess around on your phone for a couple minutes like everyone else," said Sandberg
"I mean he’s probably a really nice guy, but c’mon, just mess around on your phone for a couple minutes like everyone else," said Sandberg

Sources confirmed late Thursday night that Geoff from your English seminar was indeed reading a book before class like a fucking prick.

“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t for class or anything. It looked like it might even have been nonfiction,” reported classmate Sarah Michaelson, horrified. “I’m also fairly sure he doesn’t have a summer internship secured yet, so I don’t know why the fuck he thinks he has time for that shit.”

When reached for comment, Geoff remained oblivious to the toxic effects of his actions.

“I finished my math problem set early so I thought I’d just give myself a little mental break,” he said. “I mean, I’m not too busy this semester, and I’ve always appreciated the perspective that the written word has historically provided me,” he added, unaware of the heavy bouts of dry-heaving his heedless reading was inducing amoung his classmates.

Professor James Sandberg was similarly disturbed by the actions of the haughty student, who had since begun to “furrow his brow in thought or whatever,” and “mouth the words out like a little twat.”

“I felt like he was doing it just to taunt me,” said Sandberg, fuming at the student’s arrogance. “Like woo-fucking-hoo, I’m Geoff and I don’t need a college degree to appreciate the essence of education as self-learning and become a real man. Buzz the fuck off, Geoff. Spare our eyes.”

At press time, Geoff had further irked his peers by slowly lifting a Moleskine notebook from his messenger bag to write something down, like he’s David Foster Wallace or some shit.

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