After answering almost every other question perfectly, business student Daniel Jameson was caught completely by surprise when his interviewers asked him why he wanted an investment banking job at Goldman Sachs.
“I mean, I’ve always just had a passion for investment banking,” said a stuttering Jameson while thinking only of penthouse apartments he’s dreamt of affording. “I’ve always wanted to make a difference in the world, and I feel as if investment banking is an area in which I can really help other people.”
Jameson did acknowledge the financial benefits that come with investment banking jobs, but he quickly dismissed them, claiming that when he first decided to pursue finance, he “didn’t even know that you get paid more than a teacher or a cab driver or something.”
“I’ve been following the stock market ever since I was a little kid,” said Jameson to the interviewer he hopes will offer him a six figure salary. “My dad has always wanted me to be a banker like him, and I think this would be a great way to continue the family legacy [of being wealthy].” Jameson also cited his desire for a “fast-paced environment” and his “lifetime passion for math.”
“I just feel really driven to work borderline-abusive hours for seven days a week straight out of college,” he reported, stating that “it’s just part of the [expensive] New York City culture.”
Goldman Sachs representative Karen Myers, the woman who interviewed Jameson, was allegedly “extremely impressed” by his response.
“I’ve interviewed a lot of people,” said Myers, “but only an extremely impressive few are able to think of reasons other than money for why they want an investment banking job.”
Myers added that Jameson’s response was “heartwarming” and that she was overjoyed to learn that Jameson understands the true virtues of investment banking.
“We really value employees who understand that it’s all about people,” said Myers. “Sure, it might set you up to go into private equity after a few years and make millions and millions of dollars, but that’s really just a side effect of the altruism.”
At press time, Jameson was seen trying on a suit, something that he has “always wanted to wear every single day.”