Man Uses Negligible Amount of Roommate’s Dove Soap

Vorwald was sure to only siphon off a small amount of soap.
Vorwald was sure to only siphon off a small amount of soap.

Closing the glass shower door behind him, area man Chris Vorwald made use of his roommate’s Dove soap, being careful to take a negligible amount so as to not arouse suspicion.

Making a judicious application of the Dove for Men’s Aqua Fresh body soap and shower gel, Vorwald navigated the process of bathing with the practiced care of an experienced thief.

“I’ve done it for most of the year,” said Vorwald, who noted he’s never even seriously considered buying his own soap. “I’m not exactly sure whose it is, but I never take that much anyways.”

Vorwald noted that he frequently monitored the levels of the soap whenever he would shower, and only took as much as he could get away with. He also explained that he makes sure to take soap from a different roommate when any one soap gets noticeably low.

“I could just buy some at the store, but I always seem to forget, and $8 on a bottle of shower gel just seems like a lot,” Vorwald added, noting he was careful to only use as much soap as was needed to get clean and never any more.

“I’m only stealing a little from the rich, and seriously, who’s gonna notice a little soap. Or a little cereal. If they were keeping track of that stuff, I wouldn’t want to be friends with them anyways.”

“As long as I’m only using a little, and whoever’s it is doesn’t notice, I think this is the best arrangement for everyone,” Vorwald later added.

Vorwald’s morning routine also involved a precise folding back of his roommate’s toothbrush tube, and a swig of their Listerine before he headed out the door.

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