Nobody Sure How Record Store In Business

The record store’s survival is a complete enigma.
The record store’s survival is a complete enigma.

Multiple sources have confirmed complete and utter confusion in regards to the continued service of ‘Pete’s Records’ to its local Ann Arbor community.

‘Pete’s Records’ has enjoyed a long and illustrious history of selling records, educating people about new music, and, more recently, confusing everyone on how it still exists.

“I’ve never seen anyone in there,” reported area man Bruce Winthrop. Winthrop has never patronized Pete’s Records, but he has walked by it multiple times. “I always wonder, ‘what’s it like in there?’ but I’ve never needed to go inside, because I’ve never needed a record. Guess I’ll never know!

When pressed if he would ever enter the store purely to satiate his curiosity, Winthrop responded with a resounding “no,” citing his fear of the awkwardness of being the only one in the record store with its owner.

“Like, I’ll just walk around a bit, and be like, ‘cool!’ and leave without buying anything,” said Winthrop.

The store is located at the corner of Main and State Street, with opening hours from 9a.m. to 7p.m. Monday through Saturday, though those interviewed have expressed no prior knowledge that the store was closed on Sundays.

“Do people buy records?” asked local resident Chelsea Springer.

Springer lives on Main Street, about a five minute drive from Pete’s Records, and stated that driving by the store makes her “sad.”

“I mean,” added Springer, “a record store? Why in the world would people pay for records? I barely pay for music on the internet!”

At press time, reports were being conducted to investigate the business strategy of that frame store nobody ever goes into.

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