Area Man With Multiple Laundry Loads Sets Aside Next Few Days Just In Case

This fucking guy.

Taking a conscientious approach to his laundry duties, local Junior Marco Dennison has carefully setting aside the next 72 hours in order to fully complete his overwhelming load of laundry. The economics major, who still has not managed to develop any good laundry habits, made sure to block out at least three consecutive days to ensure he would have the time to cycle all of his laundry, the whole way through.

“I’m just making sure that I don’t have any obligations later today, or the rest of the week for that matter,” says the junior, who is dedicating all of his waking hours waiting around for the buzzers in the basement. “Plus you have to account for the fact that the dryer takes longer than the washer when they’re both running at the same time, and you want to take advantage of the stagger.”

Dennison has also noted that he never really developed any good domestic habits when he came to college, and his and his roommates varying schedules made it difficult to predict when the laundry would be free.

“The trick is really to reuse clothes that aren’t really dirty at the end of the day,” said one roommate, Jake Saurin. “I understand what Marco’s going through, but you can only eat an elephant a bite at a time, man.”

At press time, Dennison discovered a roommate had bulldozed a laundry load through the middle of his queue, leaving a wet laundry load to collect mildew and sending the disorganized junior tumbling back down into laundering entropy.

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