Roommate Using Chopsticks To Eat Takeout Chinese Food Even Though No One Watching

Who are you trying to impress, man?
Who are you trying to impress, man?

According to residents of 423 South Fourth Ave, area roommate Max Sanford was seen using chopsticks to eat his Chinese takeout even though he was not in public and no one even cared.

“I really prefer the feel of eating lo mein off of a nice bamboo chopstick,” said Stanford, even though no one asked. “It just doesn’t taste the same off of a cold metal fork.”

Sanford’s roommates reported that he has been practicing for months to perfect his chopstick technique.

“I walked in on him watching a Youtube tutorial for how to eat rice using chopsticks,” said LSA junior Alex Ramirez, “and he was practicing on raw rice. He couldn’t even eat it after picking it up.”

Sanford, who is of Irish and Welsh decent, recently bought a mat for rolling sushi and says he’s taken a particular interest in Asian fusion recently.

“I want to experiment with Asian cuisine flavors as they were meant to be tasted,” said Sanford, twirling an instant ramen noodle around a chopstick even though there was literally no one around to impress. “You know the most important ingredient in sushi isn’t the fish,” said Sanford without being prompted. “It’s actually the rice.”

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