Smug Asshole Announces She Could Not Have Asked For A More Loving, Supportive Family

Myers is not lucky, she’s blessed.
Myers is not lucky, she’s blessed.

In a recent statement issued in her Instagram account caption, local asshole Samantha Myers declared that she was “the luckiest girl on Earth” to have a family “so full of light and love.”

“I just don’t know what I would do without them—they’re my rocks,” continued the patronizing douche, who was pictured embracing family members who were supposedly there for her every step of the way.

Myers, who is preparing to graduate this month, reportedly “couldn’t help herself ” from posting numerous photos of her smiling with proud parents, essentially rubbing her close-knit ties in the face of everyone else.

“They’ve given me so much—I could never thank them enough!” read another caption from the beaming boast-head.

According to inside sources, Myers “doesn’t know how she would have gotten through school without her wonderful parents and brother,” though some of her peers are skeptical of the idea.

“I mean, I haven’t seen my dad in years and my mom doesn’t approve of anything I’m doing right now, but I’m still graduating. So I think Samantha probably could’ve done it without her parents’ love— it’s just a lot shittier. Maybe she should keep her undying love to herself,” said Lily Susiano, who is set to graduate alongside Myers this month.

At press time, Myers was condescendingly expressing gratitude to her amazing group of friends that has been there through thick and thin.

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