First Person At Dinner Table Orders Water, Cowards Fall In Line

It turns out you can lead sheep to water and make them drink.
It turns out you can lead sheep to water and make them drink.

After silently considering his options, area man Caleb Foster decided to order just a glass of water at his local TGI Friday’s last Wednesday evening. It was reported that each subsequent party member then ordered water with their dinner as well, weakly conforming to the health-conscious precedent set by Foster moments before.

“I was about to order a Sprite, but then I thought I’d just get water because it’s free, and it’s better for me,” said Foster, as he sipped on his tasteless beverage. “Then everyone ordered water after me, and I bet if I’d ordered pop, other people would’ve ordered pop too.”

Another member of the dinner table, Sarah Diaz, did, in fact, have a taste for an alternative beverage: “I was thinking I might go for a cherry coke, but once three other people had ordered water, I didn’t want to look like the fat friend.” When questioned, the rest of the party members admitted that they had also considered ordering a less boring drink but decided against it due to social pressure.

Waitress Samantha Walters reportedly asked multiple times if anyone wanted to change their drink order throughout dinner, but each time the diners looked at each other, nodded subtly, and responded, “I think we’re good.” Subsequent reports show that Walters even told the party about the happy hour drinks special, but each friend, succumbing to extreme cowardice after Foster declined again, was “fine with just water.”

At press time, Diaz replaced her side of fries with steamed vegetables, forcing the rest of the table to do the same.

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