Hedonist On Search For Passion Passion

Santiago reportedly can’t get as blissed out as he used to.

Stating that his normal passions alone were no longer sufficient, local hedonist Jimmy Santiago has reportedly vowed to devote more time to finding his passion passion.

“Sure, being a hedonist is great, but everything has its downsides,” Santiago stated. “You can only have so many decadent feasts and extravagant orgies before it all starts to feel a little stale.”

Santiago attributes most of his passion exploration to his recent 22nd birthday. “I was indulging in a quick speedball in the afternoon when all of a sudden it hit me: my life’s almost over, and there’s a whole world of passions out there. If I don’t find the one I was destined for, what kind of hedonist would I be?” He later elaborated that this has triggered a time of rapid experimentation for him, causing him to dabble in everything from fine wine appraisal to amateur surgery.

Friends of Santiago expressed their confusion in regards to his pursuit of his passion passion to reporters. “Honestly I couldn’t even tell he was losing his passion for passion,” said fellow hedonist Sarah Abney. “It all happened so suddenly. Now when I look at him, it seems like he’s just going through the motions of deriving the most amount of physical pleasure at all times. It’s kind of a bummer.”

At press time, Santiago expressed concern that his passion for finding his passion passion may soon pass.

Related News