Claiming that it is the only way to truly meet yourself, a popular lifestyle blog has recently suggested removing all the “toxic” and “negative” people in your life and replacing them with zucchini noodles.
The blog stated that zucchini noodles, often referred to simply as “zoodles,” are rich in antioxidants and gluten-free and would never put their own interests ahead of your happiness.
“Some people have the tendency to gaslight and manipulate those that care most about them,” said blog contributor Jane Rodriguez. “A zoodle would just never do that, which is why we’re telling people it’s time they make the swap.”
“Plus,” Rodriguez added, “you can put parmesan cheese on your zoodles, something my ex-boyfriend never let me do.”
The blog went on to say that among 50 young men and women interviewed, 46 of them felt that switching over to the low-cal, low-carb pasta alternative greatly enhanced their lives.
“It’s out with toxicity and negativity and in with zoodles,” said an anonymous source. “The moment I cut off contact with my motherin-law and started eating zucchini noodles is the moment I really started to feel alive.” Another source stated that 2018 was “the year of the Zoodle.”
The blog is currently working on a new project analyzing the benefits of swapping out your co-workers for Kale.