Italian Restaurant Menu Just Expects You To Know Italian

Mamma mia!
Mamma mia!

Offering an “antipasti” choice of either “crostini misti con ciottoli” or “bruschetta calda all’olio d’oliva e aglio,” it reportedly became clear that the menu at Grazie Ristorante Italiano just expects you to know Italian.

“I’m a big fan of Italian food, and I usually like whatever I end up ordering here,” said restaurant patron Dave Biggs as he sat poring over the “zuppa del giorno.” “But I’ll be honest, I don’t understand a single word on this damn menu.”

“I mean, do I look like I know what an anti-pasta is?” Biggs later added. “Just give me something with spaghetti and lots of meatballs, and cut the crap with this whole ‘pizze e insalate’ thing.”

As the evening progressed, sources confirmed that Biggs became increasingly frustrated with the Grazie menu.

“Don’t they realize it’s pointless to hand out a menu with options that nobody can understand? Don’t they realize how many questions the waiters are going to have to answer?” commented Biggs. “Or maybe mostly Italians come to eat here. Maybe I’ve come to the wrong restaurant.”

Sources later confirmed that few to none of the patrons served at Grazie Ristorante Italiano are capable of speaking Italian.

At press time, Biggs was seen ordering the “calamari giganti con tentacoli extra.”

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