Reports emerged this yuletide season that area woman Jenna Lee Williams’ most recent bout of seasonal depression was in fact just her regular chronic depression, but with the addition of a fun Santa hat.
“I love the holidays! I get to wear this super silly hat,” exclaimed Williams, a woman struggling to find a reason to live other than a jolly red accessory this Christmas.
“I always get so down on myself during the winter months. It’s so cold and gross outside,” she observed, ignoring the fact that she was not any more unimpressed with herself than usual, and that the only thing new about her latest spiral into self-hate was cute seasonal headwear.
“I wonder if I should seek help,” Williams whispered softly just within earshot of reporters. “It’s so dark out right now, and it’s only six o’clock,” she added, mumbling while pulling her adorable Santa hat down further over her eyes and ears.
Williams was last seen hanging up a wide array of Christmas lights in her bedroom so that her depression naps could be a little more festive.