Apple Finally Releases iPhone For Left Handed People

The nation’s left-handed people are reportedly thrilled to be Apple compatible.
The nation’s left-handed people are reportedly thrilled to be Apple compatible.

Claiming this release begins the “next era of communication,” Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed at his company’s keynote today the tech-giant’s newest gadget: the left-handed iPhone.

The iPhone L is set to jumpstart Apple’s breakthrough into the often overlooked left-handed handheld market. Company press touts its design as so seamless that a left-handed person can use the product the same way “any normal person would use a regular iPhone.”

“We had to do a complete 180 on the way we look at the iPhone,” noted Apple VP of product Miles Brennan, “and I’m incredibly proud of how it’s come together. It’s the kind of device that no left-handed person will want to be seen without.”

Apple’s landing page proudly advertises a high-resolution X-ray of the new model, highlighting how every proprietary circuit, chip, small and large scale transistor down to the atomic level was designed and manufactured in reverse. The new Retina display boldly showcases Apple’s revolutionary BGR color scheme, as opposed to the traditional RGB found on most consumer electronics.

While lefties are now eagerly awaiting the March 27th release date, they’ll have to wait a bit longer to use the apps their right handed peers are so fond of. Apple’s iOS Southpaw requires that developers completely retool their software, reversing every logic gate from the ground up. Brennan, however, is confident that anyone willing to wake up at 3:00 to wait seven hours to buy the phone would have no problems waiting for the premium apps: “We’ve always cherished how much customers value our brand. Some call it unhealthy obsession, we call it loyalty.”

With the attention the iPhone L is bringing to this untapped minority market, talks have arisen over whether Apple will soon allow left-handed people to work at the company.

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