Change Jar Almost Fucking Full, Baby

Beck was reportedly ‘ready to take this thing all the way to the bank.'
Beck was reportedly ‘ready to take this thing all the way to the bank.'

Citing that the day he had been waiting for was almost upon him, sources reported on Tuesday that with the addition of 57 cents, James Beck’s change jar was almost filled to the fucking top, baby.

“I’m ecstatic,” Beck told reporters of the change jar, which was just a few dollars from being completely fucking full. “I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck and it’s honestly been really hard, but then this happened. It’s a miracle.”

Experts were able to confirm that Beck’s jar was, in fact, just about fucking full.

“Oh yeah that baby is real close, probably only 20-30 more coins and you’re good to go,” stated John Flynn, Meijer employee and local Coinstar specialist. “As far as the actual value of the collection, I’d say $20 to $100 depending on the composition of pennies versus quarters in the jar. Get enough coins to fill it up and it’s pay day baby,” Flynn added.

“I’m so happy for him, but I’m also scared for him,” reported mother Clarice Beck. “He’s so lucky to be getting this opportunity, and it’s going to do him so much good. The thing is, when something like this happens to person it gets a lot harder to tell who their real friends are,” Mrs. Beck told reporters.

Beck was last seen scavenging the floors of a local arcade in order to “fill that puppy all the way up.”

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