David Duke Horrified To Realize He Accidentally Put White Robes In With Dark Wash

Duke’s wardrobe was reportedly ‘entirely ruined.’
Duke’s wardrobe was reportedly ‘entirely ruined.’

Upon opening the washing machine door to transfer his weekly load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, former Louisiana State Representative and Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan David Duke was aghast to find he had accidentally put his white robes in with the dark wash.

“Godammit,” said the white nationalist and modern-day Nazi under his breath as he held his previously white Klan robes up to the light. “I forgot to separate the colors from the whites. Now they’re all mixed.”

“How am I supposed to champion the preservation of the Aryan race and ethnically cleanse America if I can’t even cleanse my own clothes?” worried Duke aloud as he frantically dunked his conical Klan hat in a bucket of warm, soapy water in an attempt to restore it to its former whiteness.

“There’s no way I can show my face in public in these robes,” commented the white nationalist terrorist whose group is known for masking their faces and committing human rights atrocities under the cover of the night.

“This blunder has ruined my reputation for sure,” noted the prominent racist, antisemite, Holocaust denier, homophobe, sexist, and convicted felon, who lost even his most ardent supporters after gambling away their funds, as he hung his darkened robes outside to dry.

“And these were my best robes, too,” commented Duke.

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