Don’t Tread On Me

You might think that I’m just some stone, no different from any other piece of mason. But I’m different. Oh, I’m different.

Because if you step on me I’ll curse you. That’s right, a curse! So don’t tread on me punk!

If you tread on me you’ll fail your first blue book exam. Don’t believe me? Just ask Sara Lafontant what happened when she stepped on me. Oh, you don’t know Sara? Yeah, that’s right because she failed her first blue book exam and never got over it! She’s flipping flapjacks at the Cracker Barrel out by the highway!

Get too close and I’ll take a bite out of your GPA just the same as the symbolic rattlesnake that symbolically took a bite out of the British Empire and that fucking Stamp Act. Capisce? Yeah, that’s right keep it moving, fella.

Woah there. Heads up, lady. You’re walking pretty fast in my direction and those heels look mighty sharp. Didn’t you hear what I was saying to that other g—OUCH!

NOT COOL! You cannot just walk all over me like that. I have rights, you know. You better watch your back; you’ve got it coming…

Oh woah, here we go. Good doggy. Very good doggy. Are you toilet trained? Let’s hope so. Why are you squatting down like that? What’s going on? Hey, don’t just—

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