According to reports, local pessimist Anna Thomas has been seen reading her daily horoscope up to a week in advance so she can accurately decide when she should be sad.
“Reading my horoscope weeks ahead can help me plan better,” says Thomas, a Gemini. Previous readings are said to have given her special insight as to what her mood should be for the day, week, or even month.
“My horoscope has also given me more confidence in knowing when to stay at home versus when to go out,” Thomas exclaimed. “I now know, when Mercury is in retrograde, that Rick’s isn’t the best place to be.”
Thomas has also been reportedly planning her meal prepping around her emotionally charged horoscope readings. On any normal week, two-ounce salmon and one-fourth a cup of brown rice can usually get her through her day. On certain days of the week, however, Thomas will reward her sadness with a “plate of No Thai!” as that usually “boosts her mood.”
While Thomas agreed that planning to be sad based off of a Horoscope app notification can be a little extreme, she ultimately finds that it is “easier to function” knowing “when to be depressed.”
Thomas was last seen letting her friend know that she probably wouldn’t make it to her friend’s birthday party next week, as she had a “sneaking suspicion” that she wouldn’t feel up to it.
