Upon planting his buttocks on the stained porcelain seat located inside a Mobile gas station, Richard Everest, accountant and father of three, admitted that he did not foresee this event transpiring.
“I use the bathroom every day,” Everest stated while struggling to extract a paper towel from the dispenser. “But going No. 2 in a bathroom that’s less than a meter from an ICEE machine, well, that was not part of the plan.”
Everest was reportedly only a half mile away from his home when he stopped to fill his car with gas. What happened mere moments later was entirely unanticipated.
“I was so close to my house,” Everest said in disbelief. “I don’t know how I let this happen. I could not have predicted this. No one could have.”
At press time, Everest figured he might as well browse the freezer section and grab something for dinner.