After a historically great start of 17 consecutive wins, fans of the University of Michigan men’s basketball team are reportedly “elated” at the continued success of the program, which is the highest-profile and most important segment of the university’s athletic department and has been since the school’s inception.
“I love watching the basketball team,” reported area student and basketball superfan Mike Hodges. “It’s so wonderful to go to a university whose flagship sport, basketball, has both a history of high-level performance and is currently at a historic peak of success. It really makes you feel blessed to be a part of the Michigan sports fan community, where everyone’s favorite sport is men’s basketball and always has been.”
“Some of Michigan’s sports teams have had relative down years recently,” explained area sports blogger Ryan Clark. “We expected more from the field hockey team last year, the track sprinters were a step slow, and golf has been a mess for the better part of a decade. But us wolverine fans can always count on our collective favorite sport, basketball, to deliver consistent wins we can be proud of.”
The men’s basketball team started the season hot with double-digit drubbings of traditional powerhouses such as North Carolina, Villanova, and Purdue. This unprecedented start comes on the heels of a second consecutive Big Ten Tournament win and a national championship appearance. Records show that the team, who already has a tradition of moderate-to-high level success, is performing at hitherto-unseen rate of dominance. Said dominance is a cut above even the most successful of non-revenue, or “secondary,” Michigan athletic ventures, such as gymnastics, cross country, and hockey.
According to Michigan athletic director Warde Manuel, “we here at the University of Michigan athletics department are proud of the efforts of coach John Beilein and his squad. This administration is dedicated to the enduring support of the men’s basketball team, and we are all looking forward to the continued success of this program, which has always been and will always be the crown jewel of our beloved university.”