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Report: Dad Has A Guy For That

Following your emergency call concerning a broken fan belt in the...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Man Found Dead After Tragic Too Much Of A Good Thing

In a heartbreaking turn of events, local man Jimmy Isbell was found...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Lovestruck Boy Wishes Girl Who Texts Him One Word Responses Wasn’t So Brilliantly Concise

University of Michigan freshman Liam Cross, 19, is reportedly...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Houseguest Not Sure Where To Find Kitchen Trash Can

After completing three laps around the kitchen island in pursuit of...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Friend Who Has Better Life Than You Going Out Of Town For Weekend

Reports are coming in that your friend, Jessica Keitler, whose life...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Man With ‘The Catcher In The Rye’ Poster In Apartment Just Wants You To Know He’s Damaged

Standing with his arms crossed in front of a 24” by 36” poster of...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Entire Party Spent Shifting Slightly To Make Room For Someone Trying To Get A Drink

Citing a near constant amount of shuffling and repositioning...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Guy At Party Wearing Lampshade On Head Actually An Undercover Cop

Sources reported Friday night that the guy with the lampshade on his...

  • Mar 25, 2019

GSI’s Coffee Shop Office Hours Feel Weirdly Similar To A Date

Students in Classic Civilization 404: Intermediate Greek Mythology...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Weird Roommate Makes Reasonable Amount Of Pasta

According to housemates, LSA junior James Matthews, known for his...

  • Mar 25, 2019

Acclaimed Senior Thesis Perfectly Follows Five Paragraph Essay Format

After laboring for a year on his senior thesis, English major Don...

  • Mar 25, 2019
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