Standing with his arms crossed in front of a 24” by 36” poster of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, Tanner Wilson, the man from your Tinder date just wants you to know he’s damaged.
“I really identify with Holden,” said Tanner Wilson, local damaged man. “His eternal struggle with youth touched me in ways I don’t think most people could understand.”
Known widely as the book that Mark David Chapman carried the day he shot John Lennon, The Catcher in the Rye is an “underrated” and “underappreciated” novel, according to Wilson.
“What most people don’t understand is how much metaphor and symbolism is layered into the text,” Wilson continued. “Holden’s red hunting hat represents his true self, just like my acid wash denim jacket represents my emotional unavailability.”
Wilson said, like most people, he first read “Catcher” in high school, but didn’t really understand it until he came back to it in his twenties as a young millennial living off his parents’ paycheck.
“It just really helped me grapple with the fact that, even though my parents gave me everything I wanted and I’m a straight white man in a great city, I’m allowed to hate and villainize pretty much anyone I want to.”
Multiple women Wilson met on Tinder were contacted but could not be reached for comment. One woman who wished to remain nameless told reporters she “got sick of [Wilson] calling me Jane and telling me how few girls manage to be both attractive and respectable.”
Reporters’ questions as to Wilson’s relationship status were only met with the word “phonies” repeated over and over.
At press time, Wilson was spotted at a bookstore looking over the extensive works of Ayn Rand.