Following a tweet that sent the University of Michigan into a campus-wide panic this past Saturday, the editors of The Michigan Daily were forced to apologize for its failed attempt at satire.
“While we are aware that our tweet caused a wave of trauma and collective confusion for the entire community, we need everyone to understand that this was just satire,” said Sarah Henderson, the Editor-in-Chief of the once-credible news source. “We definitely take some responsibility for sending the entire student body into an absolute frenzy, but students must also take partial responsibility for not understanding good old social commentary.”
Other editors of The Michigan Daily have expressed confusion at why their foray in comedy was met with utter chaos.
“I just don’t get it,” said Opinion Editor Jacob Ryan. “We wrote a hilarious piece of social commentary, but it caused people to barricade themselves in buildings and succumb to panic attacks.”
The editors voiced a desire to try again in the future but came to the consensus that The Michigan Daily’s recent satire initiative will be put on indefinite hold.
“We had a good run for a couple days, but I think it’s time to wrap it up,” said Sports Editor Ben Rosen, referring to a tweet that made thousands of Michigan students genuinely fear for their lives. “Even though we’re objectively hilarious, it’s clear the campus just isn’t yet ready for this type of nuanced satirical news.”
The newspaper’s decision comes after many students, who believed that they were facing a lethal threat because of The Michigan Daily’s remarks, received the content poorly.
“Yeah, they need to return to actual news,” said LSA junior Mackenzie Marz. “It’ll probably be a while before I can trust them again.”
Journalistic experts have recommended that The Michigan Daily delete the 30% of articles on its website that are also satire.