Study Finds 95% Of Bicycle Baskets Have Alien Inside

Researchers encourage bicycle-owners not to be upset if their basket is devoid of an alien boy.

A University of Wisconsin study has confirmed that at least 95% of bicycle baskets contain an extraterrestrial lifeform.

“After conducting multiple experiments, it’s safe for us to say that the vast majority of bicycle baskets contain at least one unearthly creature,” said researcher Jenny Davis. “We are surprised to find that a full five percent of bicycle baskets have a total lack of aliens, however.”

While the true purpose of bicycle baskets has been contested for years now, scientists are now certain that one of their main functions is to store creatures from outer- space.

“It was reassuring to find that the vast majority of bike baskets do contain aliens, but it’s important to consider the minority of bicycles that are completely devoid of all aliens,” said researcher Harry Davis. “Although it’s certainly a small percentage, the data doesn’t lie, and it’s just important that we realize the implications.”

“We are now issuing a notice to all owners of bicycle baskets in order to inform them of the high- percentage chance that their basket is inhabited by a visitor from a different world.”

Even though it is often considered rare to find an alien, the study confirms the fact that bicycle baskets are one of the most productive places to look if in search of one.

The researchers also tested the amount of bicycles that spontaneously fly due to the sheer power of love and friendship, but the results were inconclusive.

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