Michigan Cube Graduates With Honors

The hexahedron will look back fondly on its time at the university.

After successfully completing the last of its credit requirements, the Michigan Cube is set to graduate from the University of Michigan having earned cum laude honors for its academic efforts.

The Cube, a fixture of the Ann Arbor community, has been loved by its peers in the student body due to its extroverted nature and general approachability. Though it will be missed sorely, sources close to the geometric entity are confident that the work ethic, responsibility, and discipline that earned it the 3.47 GPA that qualified it for honors graduation status will carry it far in life.

Professors, administrators, and classmates of the Cube have all reported that the whirling polyhedron was an exemplary student, friend, and classmate. Having maintained a spotless disciplinary record in addition to its honors graduation status, some faculty members have suggested the Cube for consideration for additional distinctions, such as the Arlen R. Hellwarth Award and the Distinguished Achievement Undergraduate Award.

Friends of the Cube unanimously praised the gyroscopic construction for both its consistency and its flexibility. Though the Cube never deviated from its foundational values, it was always able to perform a 180° on its views when confronted with a reasonable push.

Though some believe that the Cube was capable of graduating with magna or even summa cum laude honors, the Cube elected to spend its college years nurturing a diverse set of interests and hobbies. The Cube had an active social life, maintaining near constant contact with its diverse and expansive friend group. It was also an active member of the local fitness community, having hosted daily spin classes in the community space outside the regents building.

After graduation, the Cube is reportedly planning a backpacking trip exploring “all corners” of the globe.

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