Netflix Algorithm Knows Nation’s Tub-Tubs Gonna Love New Cooking Show

The chunkizoids are sure to love the service’s new schedule of food based content.
The chunkizoids are sure to love the service’s new schedule of food based content.

According to a new report from Netflix’s content recommendation algorithms, it is a “mathematical certainty” that the service’s latest cooking show will be a smash hit among the nation’s tub- tubs.

The streaming giant’s analytics report revealed that of the millions of recommendations its algorithm makes, none are more accurate than food-related content to its plumper viewers.

The report states, “It doesn’t matter what it is. Documentary, mini-series, cooking competition, or just Gordon Ramsay verbally abusing nine-year-olds in an industrial kitchen. Whatever the newest cooking show is, these chunksters are going to eat it up.”

The nation’s roly-polies have confirmed that nothing brings them joy quite like a Netflix push notification for a new episode of “The Big Family Deep Fried Jamboree.”

A spokesperson for the company told reporters “It’s just too easy. We have a show where we put GoPros on everyone who enters this Cheesecake Factory and live stream them eating more saturated fat than a small town should eat in a year.”

At press time, a Netflix spokeswoman stated the company was hopeful its new true crime series would be a hit among the nation’s soon-to-be serial killers.

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