In what has become a national tradition, millions of Americans are holding July Fourth barbecues during which they grill the national bird. Bald Eagles were removed from the list of endangered species in 2007, prompting Americans to feel comfortable rounding up as many of the majestic animals as humanly possible.
“Bald Eagles aren’t endangered anymore, so we can all feel very good about grillin’ thousands of them in order to celebrate the land of the free and the home of the brave,” said area man Samuel Holland at a family barbecue. “There’s enough to go around!”
“Seeing that bird lying on the grill is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen,” added Holland about the regal symbol of American freedom, which was flying around in nature only last week.
While chicken and beef are more common on other days of the year, patriotic Americans grill Bald Eagle on the Fourth of July in order to show how much they love their country.
“What better way to show you love America than to share a meal of America’s national bird with family and friends?” asked barbecue guest Nolan Stevens.
Recent studies have found that the decadent bird is higher in protein than both chicken and beef, making it a great nutritional source not only for Independence Day but for every day of the year.
“I find they go best with ketchup,” Stevens said about the national symbol, which represents the strength and courage of the United States. “But barbecue sauce is a great choice too, and definitely go for sriracha if you want something with a little kick.”
At press time, the United States Fish and Wildlife Service was putting the Bald Eagle back on the list of endangered species.