Reports from the University of Michigan Parkour Club meeting last week confirmed the gathering as nothing more than 30 minutes of jerking it to dope buildings.
“We started off with minutes from the week before,” said team captain and Mechanical Engineering junior Jake Snipes. “Then it was time to get out into the beautiful open and start rubbing a few ones out to the real things,” he added while fapping to the Ross building’s “fucking hot” modularity.
“I’m worried someone’s gonna hurt themselves,” remarked concerned Ann Arbor resident Walter Eastman. “Kids these days are risking everything for a quick rise,” Eastman added, frowning. “Maybe it’s because I’m from a different time, but I just think it’s inappropriate to traverse massive erections of brick and steel without any protection.”
At the meeting’s end, members were asked to brainstorm which buildings they would want to dominate in the future.