Researchers Find Health Benefits Linked To New Intermittent Breathing Trend

Head Researcher Williams reported that you were looking ‘oh-so-skinny.’

Following a series of studies conducted at the University of Virginia, university researchers have found various health benefits linked to a new intermittent breathing trend.

The fad, which requires that participants hold their breath for 16 hours of the day and only breathe for the other eight, has been linked to weight loss, the disappearance of mental health issues, and slowing down cancer cells.

“While we thought the technique was just a fad, our animal trials have shown improvements of health in mice,” said researcher Kit Dunham. “It turns out that starving them of air from 8 pm until noon the following day actually prevents the development of most diseases.”

Although the mice were limp and lifeless by the end of the study, none of them died from any other disease, virus, or ailment. Researchers are currently recommending that everyone stop breathing for at least eight hours per day.

“The technique can prevent the development of cancer,” said researcher Harriett Galloway. “In addition to warding off viruses, it has also been proven to slow the development of breast cancer, prostate cancer, and even most types of bone cancer.”

“I started intermittent breathing last week, and I can already feel the difference,” said Cincinnati resident John Saber. “In addition to the health benefits, now I really appreciate and savor the time that I get to breathe instead of taking it for granted.”

Researchers have also discovered that intermittent breathing stops aging immediately. Head Researcher Gavin Williams even dubbed the technique a “fountain of youth.”

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