Hitman Forgot Hit List At Home

Ricci realized he was just going to have to wing it.

Frantically searching his pockets and muttering to himself that “it must be around here somewhere,” professional hitman Luchino Ricci was reportedly baffled to realize he had left the hit list enumerating the names of the nine different people he was hired to kill back at home.

“Shoot, I had a feeling I was forgetting something when I left the house,” said Ricci, on his way to end a decades-long mob war. “But after quickly checking to make sure I had my brass knuckles, molotov cocktails, sawed-off shotgun, and extra piano wire to use as a garotte, I thought I had everything I needed. Boy, was I wrong.”

“If I concentrate, I’m sure I can recall at least four names from the list,” commented Ricci, referring to the people the Mafia had deemed absolutely essential to terminate in order for the crime syndicate to survive. “But was I supposed to kill Fat Marino or Antoni the Baker? I can’t remember.”

“God, was there someone on the list that the Boss wanted me to blow up while he was sleeping in bed with his wife?” wondered Ricci aloud while ascending 20 flights of stairs, tommy gun in hand.

“There was something about a fish. I know I was supposed to wrap someone’s dead body in a fish,” said Ricci, kicking down the mayor’s bedroom door. “Ah well, I’ll figure it out on the go.”

Ricci later added, “Man, I shouldn’t have set out to do this when I was on a blood vengeance. I’ll probably end up killing more guys than were on the list.”

At press time, Ricci was seen climbing in the back window of an innocent civilian’s house, trying to remember if this was the guy he was supposed to drown in the bathtub or the guy he was supposed to strangle to death using a zip tie and his own tongue.

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