Loudest Man In Discussion Section Wins

Henderson allegedly also won last year’s section.
Henderson allegedly also won last year’s section.

After an utterly dominant performance, sophomore Court Henderson was declared the winner of his October 15th history discussion section for being the loudest student.

According to the syllabus for HISTORY 205 — a survey course on the history of the economy — participation grades in section determine 30% of each student’s overall grade. After hearing this, Henderson knew he had to “win at least a few of the discussions” to get an ‘A.’

Henderson reportedly easily defeated the competition. Whenever another student began to speak, he would shut him or her down immediately. Classmate Kendra Monroe described being “in awe of his ability to take over and drive the discussion, regardless of whether or not he had anything relevant to say.”

While the consensus from those present at the scene seemed to be that his victory was largely uncontested, there were moments where his assertions were challenged. One of his peers, Daniel Silver, recounts that, at one point during the discussion of an article by Freidrich Engels, “one girl actually made a pretty good point and he just started talking over her until she stopped.”

GSI Carlos Lazo reported that students who had received good grades in past iterations of the class had also “commanded the room” in section. However, he noted that while he was usually impressed by students who could “synthesize the readings with salient analysis of the lectures” he had never before “seen, or heard, rather,” of Henderson’s strategy of using “sheer volume to grab attention.”

Another student in his section recalls being unsure “if he was even saying actual comments about the class by the end of his sentence.”

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