Mom Claims Hamster Still Sleeping 14 Years Later

Max is reportedly questioning the 'squirrel bones' by the daffodils in his yard.
Max is reportedly questioning the 'squirrel bones' by the daffodils in his yard.

Sources are reporting local mother Beverley Greene’s confirmation that her son’s hamster is “still sleeping,” fourteen years after it initially disappeared from six-year-old Max Greene’s bedroom in 2005.

Max, now age 20, has only recently begun to show suspicion that Pepper the Hamster may not have needed to “take a nap in the garden,” as his mother claimed over a decade earlier.

“No, no, no — not dead! Where would you even get that idea, sweetie?” responded a visibly frazzled Greene while putting away groceries. Looking nervously around the room, the distraught mother then claimed that the hamster “really likes the daffodils and dirt out back” and “needed a break.”

Sources confirmed that on June 15th, 2005, the young Max arrived home from first grade to discover an empty rodent cage adjacent to a new Tamagotchi. When his father gave him a sympathetic look and began to explain, he was reportedly shushed by Greene, who detailed Pepper’s great nap and how the hamster had specifically requested to be relocated to the flowerbed while Max was gone to further improve the quality of its slumber.

When pressed on the hamster’s current whereabouts, Beverly maintained that Pepper was “definitely still resting,” and that factors such as a carrot shortage, hormones, or the economy could be possible reasons for its continued fatigue fourteen years later.

“I just never really questioned it,” said Max when reached for comment. “It was always just like, ‘Oh, yeah, Pepper’s sleeping in the backyard,’ and then you kind of stop thinking about it and get on with your own life. I’m honestly kind of devastated to hear that she might’ve been decomposing all along.”

A source close to the family stated that Max was last seen at Home Depot, purchasing a gardening shovel.

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