After witnessing an unidentified woman walk a golden retriever wearing an “Emotional Support” jacket, bystanders have concluded that the woman “must have some fucked up shit going on.”
“She was probably on her way to her therapist’s office,” said onlooker Shelby Martin about the woman who was just going to meet her sister at the mall. “I don’t know what her problem is, but whatever it is, it’s gotta be totally messed up.”
Other bystanders have begun to speculate about more specific reasons for the presence of the jacket-sporting canine.
“One or both of her parents definitely died at a young age,” said Sarah Mason, negligent to the fact that the woman has a healthy and loving mother and father. “I’m absolutely sure of it. It was probably cancer, or maybe a fatal car accident or something.”
Harry Waller, another individual who saw the tragic sufferer and her medicinal beast, claimed that the woman was “probably abused as a child” or “had a really tough time with her parents’ divorce.”
After the woman walked her helpful pet into the CVS on State Street, onlookers speculated about “all the different prescription drugs she’s going in there to buy.”
“If I had to guess, I’d say Klonipin, Prozac, and Benadryl,” said onlooker George Marcus about the woman, who purchased nothing but a box of Kind bars. “She definitely takes at least three prescriptions in the morning,maybe a couple to help her fall asleep too.”
At press time, the spectators added that whatever the woman had going on was undoubtedly “mad disturbing.”