With tensions flaring up in Syria after Turkey’s incursion into the north of the country, it has been confirmed that the All-Loving God just doesn’t like Syria that much.
“We must have faith that the Holy One loves all of His beautiful creations,” said churchgoer Angelina Lucas. “Except for Syria. He just doesn’t like Syria that much.”
“The Almighty is all-loving, compassionate, forgiving, benevolent, and bountiful,” continued Lucas, “unless you’re in that war-torn country just south of Turkey.”
Reverend Joshua Alvarez confirmed that the Holy One Blessed Be His Name has a reason for everything He does, and the reason He sent another nation to bomb a defenseless Syrian hospital is because he simply “doesn’t really like that country.”
While many have claimed that Syria’s plight must be an act of divine justice, religious authorities have confirmed that the Lord “just hates the place.”
“The Holy Father is neither testing Syria nor punishing it for sin,” said Reverend Alvarez about the country that has not seen peace in the past eight years. “The reason for Syria’s suffering is that the Lord in Heaven is just not fond of it.”
Further investigations have revealed no more evidence for the refugee crisis and ongoing civil war other than Our Lord and Savior’s “arbitrary dislike.”
