Sources have reported that Tim Wesley, proud conservative and reigning champion of the Wesley family’s annual Thanksgiving dinner debate, has reportedly found a worthy opponent in his nephew Jake, who recently declared his political science major.
“Tim’s been known as the most annoying family member at Thanksgiving for years now,” reported Greg Wesley, brother of Tim and father of Jake, “but we’re all so proud of our little Jake for stepping up to the plate and being just as annoying, if not worse.”
While Tim expected to assert his usual dominance during the yearly debate about immigration, he was surprised to find a newcomer sitting just beside the mashed potatoes, claiming that “America is a bastion of opportunity and must act as a beacon of light for the world’s tired, poor, and huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
“Not on my watch,” reported Uncle Tim when Jake started speaking, thinking he could take a couple of classes and suddenly dethrone the winner of six consecutive Thanksgiving dinners.
“I just got back my midterm for Polsci 101, and based on my score, I think I know what I’m talking about,” stated Jake, an expert after sitting through nine weeks of an introductory course.
Before dessert, Tim’s arguments about gun control, coming from various political Twitter accounts, continued to clash with Jake’s pro-reform stance, memorized straight from Wikipedia.