Funky-Tasting Yogurt’s Sell-By Date In Roman Numerals

The yogurt was reportedly dated to just before the Byzantine Era.
The yogurt was reportedly dated to just before the Byzantine Era.

Roommate Garrett Katz felt concerned last Friday that there might be something wrong with the yogurt he had eaten on account of the cup’s sell-by date being written in roman numerals.

“Does this smell funny to you?” asked Katz, who, since eating a spoonful of the yogurt, had maintained an expression his roommate Steven Meng described as, “looking like he just ate the worst fucking thing in the world.”

“No, Garrett,” said Meng. “It smells like yogurt, just throw it out if you don’t want to eat it.”

Katz continued his line of questioning to his roommate Noah Momblanco, holding the cup under a light and turning it inquisitively: “This is really weird, it looks like it says, ‘Vendere ante: CCLXXIV.’ Does anyone know what the letters mean?” Katz’s growing concern reportedly prompted little reaction from his roommates, who had, by their accounts, grown accustomed to Katz’s dietary apprehensions.

Katz, abandoning much of his worrying after throwing away the cup, has since withdrawn to his bedroom, complaining of a “weird stomach-ache” and “purple shapes coming out of the walls.”

“Maybe he should get sick just once to know its not that bad,” said Momblanco, who, despite losing much of his family to botulism last year, said he came out of it “pretty much fine.”

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