This weekend, University of Michigan undergrad Philip Britley spent quality time with hometown friend Charlie Ridwood in Bloomington, Indiana. The Wolverine sophomore’s otherwise pleasant trip was only dampened by the blanket Ridwood lent him, which was just too short.
After being granted a twin-sized air mattress for his own, Britley tried to not look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I mean, I’ve slept on futons, love seats, hell even a few floors before,” Britley said while packing his duffle bag up before departure. “But as long as we’re pulling hairs, it would have been nice if that blanket was a little longer. Just long enough to cover my feet.”
Hoping not to offend his host, Britely tried to hint to Ridwood that the blanket was of inadequate size by aggressively wiggling his toes upon tucking himself in. However, it was to no avail.
“I’m not even that big of a guy,” Britley told us while holding up the blanket for reference. “I didn’t even know they made these in this size. Maybe it’s for a small dog?”
When questioned, Ridwood defended his decision to give his friend the tiny blue blanket.
“I gave him the best that he had,” said Ridwood as he began to deflate the air mattress. “I could have given him the much larger, grey blanket. But that one hasn’t been washed in months. Philip could’ve put on a pair of socks if he was cold, no?”
At press time, Britley took a jab at Ridwood, claiming that he loaned him a towel that was already wet.
