Guy In Subway Who Doesn’t Know Names of Meats and Cheeses Just Pointing At Food Options

Feldstein likes the spherical meat with the red sauce option the best.

Hungry Electrical Engineering senior Nathan Feldstein walked into the Subway off South University Avenue, where he was met with an array of unlabeled meats and cheeses.

Nervous, Feldstein approached the counter, where a smiling Subway employee greeted him and asked him if he was ready to order. Reports confirmed that by all means, he was not.

“I must’ve been out sick the day of Kindergarten where they covered the intricacies of various meats and cheeses and how to identify them or something,” he reported. “I don’t know the difference between the white semi-circle cheese and the white triangle cheese, and I’m not sure when I was supposed to learn.”

After choosing “wheat” as his bread, because that was the only breed of bread he knew, Nathan slowly shuffled along the line, silently panicking as the Subway employee asked him what toppings he would like.

Witnesses report that with no other options left, Nathan resorted to pointing at the glass and stating, “Uh, yeah can I have…..” and trailing off once the employee put his hand over the meat he desired.

Sources confirmed that the Subway employee maintained his composure, staying as patient as possible with the “blubbering idiot” who couldn’t identify pepperoni and confused swiss and provolone.

At press time, Nathan was seen walking out the door with his six- inch in one hand, unsure whether he had a chocolate chip or raisin cookie in another.

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